


Power of a Name

by NiCad



Category: The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Anonymity, Gen, Light Side, Safe Haven, The Dark Side of the Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:29:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21897457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiCad/pseuds/NiCad
Summary: He only knew the words that were directed at him. Kid. Ad'ika. Womp rat.But the images in his head and sensations in his mind that went with each were so much more.He saw a great darkness surrounding his protector. He saw his protector harness the darkness, crush it in his hands, and forge it into light.
Comments: 21
Kudos: 324





	Power of a Name

_The ocean is a desert with its life underground  
And a perfect disguise above…  
You see I've been through the desert on a horse with no name_

America, [Horse With No Name](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSAJ0l4OBHM)

* * *

He only knew the words that were directed at him. _Kid. Ad'ika. Womp rat._

But the images in his head and sensations in his mind that went with each were so much more.

 _Kid_ was the most common. The emotions that flowed from his protector when he used it formed a protective wall around him. The sense of being guarded. Defended. Shielded. Provided for. Watched after.

Often at great cost. Time and again, he felt the lives of others flicker out at the hands of his protector on his behalf. He would never forget the mass exodus of life force just before his pod opened to reveal the flat, shiny face for the first time. The overwhelming confusion that radiated from it. Followed by the murder of the mechanical life next to it. Chased by the walls of protection, the likes of which he had not felt in a very long time. It had all happened again not too long after. He had closed his eyes against most of it, shielding himself from the war of guilt and protectiveness that raged within his guardian, shielding himself from the war of fire, blaster shots, and fists that raged without.

His protector would murder for him. Would tear down cities for him. Would extinguish the lives of entire worlds for him.

He saw a great darkness surrounding his protector. He saw his protector harness the darkness, crush it in his hands, and forge it into light.

 _Ad'ika_ felt like it vaguely meant the same thing, but was only murmured by his protector when they were alone, holding him close. All of the protection that came with _kid_ , minus the violence, plus shades of sadness washed over with old memories. Something he would later recognize as homesickness, but for now he only knew as a knot in his tummy and a weight on his chest.

Some parts of his protector were already dead. A childhood lost and mourned. A wound in his life force that had scared over, dark, thin, and jagged. His protector was desperate to fill the remaining void; he sensed the prior sacrifices, turning the spoils of his darkness into the light of provision for other foundlings.

His protector would give up everything he had for him. Would spill the blood from his own veins for him, would give him his last dying breath. Nothing else mattered.

 _Womp rat_ was, again, mostly the same as _kid_ without the violence, but with an edge of irritation. When he'd gotten a hold of the thruster knob on his own, or was curious about what would happen when he pushed buttons, or when he swallowed a frog. But the irritation was founded upon anxiety, his protector’s worry that he was a threat to his own safety, coming from a place of guardianship.

His protector harbored a great rage, but kept it at bay with him. His protector also harbored guilt, and was less able to control that. Lately though, his protector was beginning to cultivate love. It sat oddly within the armor plates, unused to having a direction for it, the roots only just beginning to take hold, and a desperate fear of losing it wrapped a firm grip around his protector’s soul.

But he knew these words were not specific to him. They were substitutes because his protector didn’t know what to call him. For all the protectiveness, sacrifice, and love, his protector could not bring himself to bestow him with a name lest it make him too real and only give his protector something to lose.

He knew the words for his protector were not specific, either. _Mandalorian. Mando_. A title and a nickname, for lack of anything more exact. His protector withheld his name, a habitual extension of the withholding of his face. His protector found shelter in anonymity, found power in mystery. The mask projected stoicism in hiding his fear; his silence projected confidence in hiding his uncertainty.

But he saw through it all. He knew his protector harbored a great fear.

But he also saw determination. Resolve. The desire to claw his way out of the darkness and do the right thing. All at ferocious levels.

Sometimes, it scared him.

Darkness and light both held his protector in their grasp, and he was torn between the two.

But it was only when the belly of the ship was completely dark that his protector’s helmet came off, that he was allowed to crawl up into the bunk with him and share his warmth, snuggle into the hollow under his chin. He did so now, able to navigate the darkness with ease, following the trail blazed by his protector’s life force, seeking out the warmth and shelter for when he was _ad’ika_. He found his protector’s mind at ease, for the moment, an exhausted peace.

He curled up in his usual spot, felt an arm come up around him, and succumbed to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Guh, I struggled to find the right song for this one. Not sure I got it quite right, so I'm open to suggestions.


End file.
